Talk with anyone who has been out of work for a while and they will give you many reasons why. Some will say: “The market is slow” or “There is so much unemployment that I can’t even get an interview.” Others may say “I am way too overqualified for all the positions that are open” or “This town just doesn’t need someone with my qualifications.” Even others will say “Too much competition” or the one I love the most, “I really got shafted by my last employer and I’m not certain that I am up to the task of finding a new job/career.” My experience, however, is that the reasons job searches fail is because the person looking for work developed certain skills and practices. What follows is a list of skills you need to develop to be certain of failure: (of course you COULD avoid developing these skills and be certain of success).
- Avoid setting goals. Developing a plan to systematically look for work is hard work. Knowing where you are going and how you are going to get there takes all the fun out of the adventure. Spontaneity is much more fun than making plans.
- Be impatient. Plan on getting a killer position almost overnight and without any effort and if that doesn’t happen, be certain to give up early in order to cut your losses.
- Don’t waste any energy or give yourself extra time to eat healthy and exercise. Having a healthier mind and body will only allow you to work harder.
- Don’t take any risks, especially low stake risks. Remember if you take risks something might go wrong and you could lose everything.
- Never get organized. You are a creative person, and getting organized will take away all those creative juices. Forget the wardrobe – the polished shoes – the haircut – breath mints – etc.
- Live in the past. If you’ve always done something one way, never try to learn how to do it differently. So what if it takes you a week to finish writing a cover letter in response to an ad? It will be a work of art that will last forever and the employer will frame it even if the position is filled by the time your letter arrives.
- Debate and argue. You especially want to defend yourself because things didn’t go right. Blame the results on your previous employer, the economy, the Republicans or Democrats, even the full moon. Hate the rain and never look at the rainbow.
- Do what is convenient, not what is necessary.
- Be negative rather than positive. Positive people are often viewed as fools while negative people are seen as practical.
- Be satisfied – there is no help for the unsatisfied person.
Of course, all of the above are STUPID ideas, but you would be surprised at just how many individuals follow these ideas – and then they wonder why everyone else is getting the good breaks.
