1. Desperate Job Seekers are ALWAYS available.
You really want to work for a company. The interview was terrific and yet the company hasn’t called in four days, so you’re a little bit worried that they isn’t as enthusiastic as you are. Holy smokes! The phone rings and they say, “Would you be interested in the position of a “xxxxxx?” (Something your really don’t want, have done in the past and hated it, and a position for which you are WAY over qualified. You respond: ”YES. YES. YES. I WOULD BE DELIGHTED. That’s what you’re thinking, but what does it say about you that you are willing to accept anything, even a job you would likely hate?
“Well,” you might say, “I would very much like to work for your company and I believe I have a lot to contribute, but that kind of position is not suited for me and you certainly do not want someone starting in a position that they are overqualified for, as it would be likely that they would be unhappy from the first day.”
If you want to be completely honest with the caller you could say, “I am not desperate for just any ‘job,” but a kinder, less aggressive way to respond to such a call is to say, “I’m not ready to accept something just to have a job for my knowledge, skills, and abilities would certainly not be challenged by the opportunity you propose. I would prefer to wait until a position equal to my qualifications becomes available. I am not the type to accept any offer to just get my foot in the door. For I would likely not be happy in the position you have available and that would not be good for either of us.”
If you choose to answer and say, “Sure, I’d really like to work for your company.” it isn’t the end of the world. For the caller, however, it is impossible not to take note of your obvious desperateness and make you a ‘low ball’ offer of compensation/benefits. Moreover, you’re starting to establish the pattern of desperation.
2. Desperate Job Seekers are clingy.
It’s a basic human behavior. The things that we believe to be abundant get less attention. The things we believe to be scarce and valuable get lots of attention. It makes lots of sense in the jungle, but focusing your attention like a laser beam on a single potential employer can spell doom. Desperate job seekers are scared that they are going to be rejected and so they simply do not apply. Without applying the result is rejection anyway; so the worst thing that can happen when you apply for a job has already happened if you don’t apply. Desperate job seekers believe there are many good candidates out there, and if they lose this opportunity…they will be crushed! So they hold on tightly. If they are luck enough to get an interview, they ask a lot of prying questions, “What is your vacation policy? Do your medical benefits include dental?” They stay as close as possible, and drag out the interview, under the assumption that being nearby can prevent the job prize from escaping. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. The key: Hold on loosely, but don’t let go. If you cling too tightly, you’re going to lose control.
3. Desperate Job Seekers need constant status updates.
It’s not uncommon for a 5-year-old to climb into the car for a long trip and ask the driver 15 minutes later, “Are we there yet? How many more miles?” There are many grown men and women who act the same way with their employment prospects. These conversations can come over and over as the desperate job seeker seeks for some handle they can use to sooth their fear of rejection. “Have you made your decision yet? Are there other candidates? Are we ready to discuss terms of employment yet?” Not sure of what’s going on, some employers will play along, trying to give the fearful applicant a sense of comfort and ease, for it is not easy to simply say “We found a more qualified candidate.” It sometimes works – for a while. More often the desperate party’s constant need for reassurance leaves the exhausted potential employer heading for the door.
4. Desperate Job Seekers fish for compliments.
Desperate job seekers need outside encouragement at every turn. They are so desperate to feel good about themselves that they become masters of creating compliments out of thin air. Self-deprecation is the most common tool. ”Wow, I’ll bet you had a great number of applicants respond to your ad. Hopefully, I am one of the most qualified. Right?” For the less subtle set there’s the direct question, “What do you think of my qualifications?”… “Would you like more information about me?”… “I have copies of letters of reference, would you like them for your file?” The company representative will always answer in the affirmative – for they certainly don’t want the applicant to feel crushed while still in their office – they can always trash the additional information when you leave. This brand of desperation is simply exhausting. Lest you think you can say enough kind things to eventually create a self-assured person, beware. True desperation is a tough hole to patch.
5. Desperate Job Seekers Drop Their Friends.
If you NEED a job, then nothing is going to stand in the way, right? Certainly not the friends who love you and will probably forgive you for dumping them. So goes the logic of the desperate mind. The problem is that a friend is a person who puts their entire life on hold for you, and probably is the best source of a job for you (particularly if s/he works somewhere you want to work. “I know we always go to Las Vegas next month, but I just want to be here in case the telephone rings.” It can be a lot of pressure being the center of someone’s universe, and you start to wonder about key traits – like loyalty and dependability – that can have a big impact on whether you choose to pursue a job over maintaining a friendship.
6. Desperate Job Seekers Drop Their Standards.
Books have been written on the topic of “settling.” What is settling? When to settle? And a quick perusal of the employment community shows extensive debate on the topic. Clearly, it is possible to want too much from a job; but it is also possible to expect too little or contribute anything but your best. Downshifting from some overblown list of traits and accomplishments is a wise decision. But we all have an internal sense of what we can attract in the marketplace of life. Dry spells come and go, but life has taught us the kinds of jobs we can successfully hold. Water seeks its own level. In addition, most people have spent some time thinking about the traits that are important to them — honesty, stability, curiosity, good work ethic, respect, et. al. These traits need to become your short list of what you MUST HAVE from a job in order to stick it out. The desperate job seeker is too driven by fear to pay attention to this inner voice. They start to toss these requirements overboard one by one. They believe that their best years are behind them, and that the only way to keep the wolf away from the door is to settle for less. Much less.
7. Desperate Job Seeker Rationalize Bad Treatment.
If you are treated rudely at the interview, it was because the interviewer was really, really, really busy, Right? When you are desperate for a job you’ll often take a lot of gruff. In fact, you often don’t even notice the poor treatment because acknowledging that you’re being treated badly is the first step down the road to understanding that you are just not going to get the job. If you’ve ever made excuses to your friends for the way your significant other treats you, it’s time to take a long hard look at your relationship and priorities. Are you so desperate to have a job that you’ll allow a potential employer to treat you like an old shoe?
In summary, if we imagine a person who is the opposite of the one described above we have someone who is:
- Confident in his/her abilities and can refuse an opportunity that isn’t a close match;
- Not Clingy — comfortable enough to let the interview end naturally and not try to oversell during the interview;
- Comfortable without constant status updates – likes to let things progress naturally.
- Secure without artificial compliments.
- Going to continue to make their friends an important priority.
- Continuing to maintain reasonable standards for their job.
- Not going to tolerate poor treatment, ever.
The irony is that while the person we’ve just described seems like a harder person to hire – higher standards, more rules, less available – they are infinitely more likely to end up in a great job than the poor desperate soul who is willing to do double-back flips just to be employed.
